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Great movie moments

It's nice when the universe meets your needs without you having to ask. I was feeling extremely down most of the day, and so was pleased to turn on the TV and find one of my favourite comfort movies: Steve Martin's wonderful Roxanne.

And it was just the start of my favourite scene, the bar insults - where Steve Martin's Cyrano de Bergerac character C.D. Bales responds to a poorly chosen insult to his nose by showing his opponent just what a well crafted insult can be, with a long list of carefully chosen bon mots about his own most prominent feature...



C.D. Bales: Obvious: 'Scuse me. Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face? Meteorological: Everybody take cover. She's going to blow. Fashionable: You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger, like Wyoming. Personal: Well, here we are, just the three of us. Punctual: All right, Delbman, your nose was on time but you were fifteen minutes late. Envious: Ooooh, I wish I were you. Gosh, to be able to smell your own ear. Naughty: Uh, pardon me, sir. Some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away. Philosophical: You know, it's not the size of a nose that's important, it's what's in it that matters. Humorous: Laugh and the world laughs with you. Sneeze and it's goodbye Seattle. Commercial: Hi. I'm Earl Scheib, and I can paint that nose for $39.95 Polite: Uh, would you mind not bobbing your head? The, uh, orchestra keeps changing tempo. Melodic: Everybody. (group sings) He's got the whole world in his nose. Sympathetic: Aw, what happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God? Complementary: You must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on. Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides? Obscure: Hoo, I'd hate to see the grindstone. Well, think about it. Inquiry: When you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid? French: Say, the pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave! Pornographic: Finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once.

How many is that?


Bar Patron: 14, Chief.


C.D. Bales: Religious: The Lord giveth. And He just kept on giving didn't he? Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose hair? Paranoid: Keep that guy away from my cocaine! Aromatic: It must wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee, in Brazil. Appreciative: Oooo, how original. Most people just have their teeth capped. Dirty: Your name wouldn't be Dick?

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
srallen
Feb. 3rd, 2004 11:20 am (UTC)
Random thought about the movie:

I love the fact that when Chris calls about the letter he's written for Roxanne, CD says he's just cooking up some eggs. And when Chris comes over, he's preparing some gourmet looking fish meal.

I want to be Steve Martin.
whotheheckami
Feb. 3rd, 2004 03:15 pm (UTC)
Re:
But can you juggle kittens.....for money?
srallen
Feb. 3rd, 2004 03:42 pm (UTC)
Re:
I find that absolutely cruel!

I did, however, work with a cat for a while. Until I found him embezzling from me. I mean, he'd go down to the bank, disguised as me...

Y'know, I wonder what would happen if I could just utilize these braincells towards something like, I dunno, world peace?
whotheheckami
Feb. 3rd, 2004 11:55 pm (UTC)
Re:
la cucaracha....la cucaracha

no chance on the world peace front then!
yonmei
Feb. 3rd, 2004 12:46 pm (UTC)
I love that moment in the play Cyrano de Bergerac - quoted here in the original by Edmond Rostand and in translationby Gladys Thomas and Mary F. Guillemard:

CYRANO: Ah no! young blade! That was a trifle short!
You might have said at least a hundred things
By varying the tone ... like this, suppose, ...
Aggressive: 'Sir, if I had such a nose
I'd amputate it!' Friendly: 'When you sup
It must annoy you, dipping in your cup;
You need a drinking-bowl of special shape!'
Descriptive: ''Tis a rock! ... a peak! ... a cape!
--A cape, forsooth! 'Tis a peninsular!'
Curious: 'How serves that oblong capsular?
For scissor-sheath? Or pot to hold your ink?'
Gracious: 'You love the little birds, I think?
I see you've managed with a fond research
To find their tiny claws a roomy perch!'
Truculent: 'When you smoke your pipe ... suppose
That the tobacco-smoke spouts from your nose--
Do not the neighbors, as the fumes rise higher,
Cry terror-struck: "The chimney is afire"?'
Considerate: 'Take care, ... your head bowed low
By such a weight ... lest head o'er heels you go!'
Tender: 'Pray get a small umbrella made,
Lest its bright color in the sun should fade!'
Pedantic: 'That beast Aristophanes
Names Hippocamelelephantoles
Must have possessed just such a solid lump
Of flesh and bone, beneath his forehead's bump!'
Cavalier: 'The last fashion, friend, that hook?
To hang your hat on? 'Tis a useful crook!'
Emphatic: 'No wind, O majestic nose,
Can give THEE cold!--save when the mistral blows!'
Dramatic: 'When it bleeds, what a Red Sea!'
Admiring: 'Sign for a perfumery!'
Lyric: 'Is this a conch? ... a Triton you?'
Simple: 'When is the monument on view?'
Rustic: 'That thing a nose? Marry-come-up!
'Tis a dwarf pumpkin, or a prize turnip!'
Military: 'Point against cavalry!'
Practical: 'Put it in a lottery!
Assuredly 'twould be the biggest prize!'
Or ... parodying Pyramus' sighs ...
'Behold the nose that mars the harmony
Of its master's phiz! blushing its treachery!'
--Such, my dear sir, is what you might have said,
Had you of wit or letters the least jot:
But, O most lamentable man!--of wit
You never had an atom, and of letters
You have three letters only!--they spell Ass!

pickledginger
Feb. 3rd, 2004 09:52 pm (UTC)
Re:
brava, brava!
teddywolf
Feb. 3rd, 2004 01:42 pm (UTC)
I do like that movie a lot.

Recently when feeling down I've turned on some Barenaked Ladies mp3s. Has a pretty similar effect.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )